Stress & Disturbing Dreams

I have had a lot on my plate this last week or so, lots of stress and impossible situations, not of my making but up to me to fix. Enough to make me want to quit.

This morning I woke up after a dream about an old friend I have not spoken to in 14 years. His new bride didn't like me at the time so I was quickly disposed of as a friend. Quite disappointing really. In the same dream standing near him in a restaurant I also saw the lost and hurt visage of another person I lost recently, in this dream something also beyond my control had happen and affected her, and she didn't believe that it wasn't my fault, nor when the truth presented wanted to forgive me. Quite an interesting theme running through my sleeping and waking life.

Saint Nicholas day is next week and I have to buy small gifts for a number of people. I hate the idea, but when in Rome do as the Romans do.

I read a blog a few weeks ago and someone else is stressed by an impossible situation not of her doing. Changing the minds of an entire family and pulling them all back into a big happy group is not something I think can be done. NOT because she is incapable, simply because people will not be changed. Sadly I believe this will meet with extremely limited if any success, but after 20 years of trying she may see that it was never possible, realise she isn't to blame and never was and forgive herself. But until then it will dominate her every fibre. Her intentions are saintly, I wish her well...

Bless her.

Obi

I love Benny Lava

I truly believe you can find some intrinsic truth in anything, some small speck of wisdom... Well until today...
Watch the video and tell me if you agree with me now...

Go Benny Lava!!

Obi - Da Messh-age!

Living La Vido Loco

Living in a foreign country is interesting and it is easy to think of me having fun everyday, but as the regular readers of my blog will confirm, It ain't all roses.

1. That said - I do have a lot to be grateful for.
   I have a job and am paid well enough to live quite comfortably.


2. I have a car, the tool of freedom from this lil town I live in.


3. A few but fine quality friends, I am lucky to have met great and stoic people.


4. A caring girlfriend. It has been about a month but she is very caring and a joy to be around.


5. Learning and experience. Being a teacher I am learning all the time what works and what doesn't. I am gaining much experience from this time in Poland and I did before in Moscow. Who knows - next maybe be Spain or Italy!

So there are my top five reasons to be cheerful - But really, inner happiness as I was reminded just this morning, is an inner personal decision. You just have to decide that glass is half full and love it!

Obi - My glass is empty - but he waiter is bring a full one right now! Ciao.

Bedridden

What to do in bed for 2 days straight? Well I could be like every other fad-monger and Facebook my day away - but to be honest I like the creative and artistic freedom of my web page better...
I did submit to the fab of Youtube - who can stop with just one video?
Turin Brakes were a band from my past I came across, some of you will already know them. I saw them at the corner in Melbourne, a great venue and a singularly fantastic show... My fave videos are below...

Save Me "you said you'd always fall for the underdog..."

Long Distance "I let somebody under my skin, long distance losing is all that I've seen."

Emergency 72 "All my colours bleed for you, can't you see them running?"

A friend said recently in a frank conversation that my blog is miserable. Don't worry someone else told me the same just 2 months before. I suppose my understanding of this is that my writing is my venting. Forming the swirls of incongruities into some form and expelling them through writing them, a mental enema if you will...

I had wanted this to be a page that was about funny and quirky observations and funny incidences, sure my life is full of those, but I am sure not everyone would see my funny as their funny... So to you my friend, all I can do is try and be entertaining as well as share my thoughts...

Yesterday I went on a short Jaunt with Penny out of town in a direction I have never been before. We went to an old stone built long house and inside was a restaurant and they had some really nice food. We chatted and laughed and then went for a long walk and ended up all warm on the sofa staring out at the cold and forming fog and spoke quietly over tea. A nice afternoon all around.

This morning at 4am I woke up and felt like a horse kicked me. since then I have been in agony and in bed. I emailed all the relevant people and went back to try and sleep. so here I am dear readers. in bed - in Jimjams and bed socks typing madly away...

Yellow is good - Red is bad...

OBI

Beginnings and endings

The sun has set tho its warmth still touches my mind. I stand eyes closed and face up to the sky imagining where the sun has gone and when it will return. Though the sun I am thinking of is not the one in our sky but the one in my mind.
Regret and remorse play on my mind as I replay the last rays before the sun set. Again and again I replay and hope for a differnt outcome but there was never to be one... no matter how hard I tried or prayed.

The Lyrics

Obi tired and back aching but thinking...

2008 Next Contract

Seems my boss has been making hay. The next contract with the EU is in the processes of being organised, the plan so far is two fold.

1. have a smaller project based on the last project in size and venue, this will not start until March and I think will have a third of the size this project had.
2. will be a bold, if not extremely unattractive plan to spend a day in each of 4 or 5 neighbouring towns per week, 4+ hours a day and more than 25km away. So the native teacher he will find. must drive everyday to a town and teach.

I am not sure about you but I am certainly not going to be that lil bunny. Sure I have a car and all but I hate commuting - especially in a country I don't know and the extra time it will take from my sacred leisure time. I have a good solid contract with a company here and a few loyal one 2 one business students that will keep me working until next september at least to about 28 - 30 hours a week.

I have a good mate in the wilds of Ukraine that is dogging me to take up with him and work in the historical and cultural city of Ukraine. The money is better, the food is better and the women are... well... just beyond gorgeous. But I have worked in Russia and I would not be looking forward to having to learn Russian again and to have to read the signs etc. No matter how good the money is and how accomodating the local culture. I would seriously have to revise my plan of moving WEST in europe.

A special Hello to an intrepid Laura G - She is planning to set sail on a new adventure soon and go back to Italy and teach. With any luck I will see you there - hA! Poland is nice and all but there is little that will hold me here, I am looking for a comfortable job and good mone and far better fooood!

Obi Better Polish his Italian... now where did she gooo... hahahah

TRUST FOUND

Obi is happy!

Now and Then

Hello Dear reader!

This week has been getting colder and colder as you would expect, not much on the snow front but quite a bit of fog in the morning and evenings.

It seems Penny has some Pull in this here town, I got into see a good doctor and had a Ultrasound on my stomach all within a day and a phone call. I was rather impressed. Tho the outcome isn't so fab, seems I have a kidney infection on top of kidney stones - so I have double the fun. I have a bwillun pills to take and I am going okay. Lets hope it is all a memory by Christmas...

The car is going well and I am learning how to manage the beast in cold weather, I am yet to buy snow tyres but I will next week. there has been no real snow to worry about so I am in the clear.

The computer problem seems to be finally clearing up, I did all the recovering I could do and then formatted the external hard drive. my comp is working real slow but seems to be operating okay - just.

Work has 5 weeks left and I will be free for 2 weeks holiday. Penny is off to Ireland for 2 weeks at Christmas so I won't see her at all. I am disappointed but not surprised. I always find myself alone at Christmas. ...and to be honest I think I prefer it now.

I heard about the Vancouver RCMP thugs tasering the Polish immigrant to death coz some idjut got trigger happy. I lived in Vancouver as many of you know and I always found Canadians to be a warm and mellow bunch, that ideal has been shattered. all of my students today where quite upset while talking about it. I watched the video on YOUTUBE and I was disgusted. I would expect LA cops to act this way but not the well trained and usually restrains RCMP. Looks like I will have to watch my P's and Q's when I next visit Vancouver.

Penny has been a real gem but I am finding it hard after so long alone to let someone do anything for me. She is very obliging and wants to make me food and bring it over and such and I know this is lovely and sincere but I am unused to it and quite uncomfortable but it I explained to her and I think she understands. She is good like that.

Well Poland won against Belgium tonight and are now in the championships - quite a historic event I am told...

I need to send off some emails to some dear friends I have neglected this past year. Stefano and Serena, congrats on the immigration application! I hope it goes smoothly - coz it sure won't go quick!

...and then what happened?

A good weekend and I felt soooo relaxed and content. I had a small party to watch videos on my wall which I use with the borrowed projector from school. it is great with the whiz-bang speakers! Better than the cinema in town!

Bad stomach pain last night had me curled up gasping for air for 2 hours. I was exhausted by the time the pain killers had kicked in. I got through my first 3 hours okay and then had a break and hit the Doctors office. he examined me and a few too many Hmmm's for my liking. He speaks English and I am glad for it as he is the only Doctor in town that does. So again as 4 months ago he gave me 10 pills a day to take and also booked me in for some Ultrasound and other tests. so I will hopefully have some results soon.

I took the rest of the day off sick much to my bosses dislike. It is times like these I understand how he really sees me, not as a person but a machine that makes him money. Almost any other time his demeanor and character show him as the opposite, but I find his a contradiction that I still cannot trust.

My laptop seems to be okay for now - tho doesnt play sound of show videos well enough to use but hey it is still a tool of the trade.

I got all the files I could off my hard drive and did well actually. Now I have tto try and integrate them with my saved backups on DVD... wish me luck kids.

The car is going okay but I think I need to take it for a real spin - say another city!

Obi off to the Doctor again tomorrow...

The Blue Angel!

Well Ladies and Gentlemen. It has happened. All bad things run in threes we say, and so they do.

1. my car broken down and now is repaired.
2. My new whiz-bang External Hard drive chucked a wobbly and scrabbled all my files. My WORK files. So I bought software to recover these and I have recovered only 25% if these precious pearls! This problem is two fold, The laptop has been worked like a dog for 16 months and is badly overheating often and automatically shutting down when it hits critcial temperature. I also think it is cracking under the strain I put it under. So it isnt burning files reliably anymore and the CPU is likely cactus... So new laptop maybe the answer. I do have a loan from the office of a work laptop, but it isn't mine and so installing files isn't ideal.
3. My Sony Ericsson 750i is just on dead, the joystick is broken and I often can't retrieve messgaes or send em or anyfin! So I need a new phone, but what to buy? Maybe I should go to the city to a Media Markt store and look around, it is a one stop electronics shop...

At the end of the day it is aaaaaaaall money.... Damn and I wanted to save some...

The Angel Of Death and the Blue Screen Of Death are the saaame thiiing!

Obi on the ropes but still on the ball...

Bad News! JAPAAAAAAN!

NOVA - ESL Industry Disaster in JapanNOVA, Japan's largest English school chain, has filed for bankruptcy. NOVA employs approximately 4000 English teachers from around the world. Those teachers - many of whom are waiting for back...read more

Stay away from my POLAND! - Obi

Tale Tales & True - Trust

A great band I used to listen to when I was young and impressionable was Tale Tales and True.

This particulary song above any of their others holds something for me. I can't find anything on Youtube and I would love to hear this again, but all I can find is the lyrics...

Trust
Blue dawn, cold day feels like Sunday

But there's no rest for some

No time, winter's round the corner

Lift that weary head

And those limbs that feel like lead

Don't say the season's at hand

When the hunter is the hunted

And the mystic widows weep

Today I saw a crystal vision

Mirrored in a stream where

Stealthy lovers creep

I have no reservations now

Into her open arms I would gladly cast myself

Into that wishing well on a hill

By her summer house

She said people are confusing

When they get what they want

They just throw it in the corner

It's true they can doSuch ugly things in the name of honour

I know that a fragile trust

Can be torn to pieces

By a world ever changing

But you know what they say
No pain, no gain....

Into her open arms I would gladly cast myself
Into that wishing well on a hill
By her summer house...

Obi -

Wead dis!

Only great minds can read this This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it!

Daze Off

It has beeeeen wonderful to have a few days off to do absolutely nothing. In fact, I have barely left the house. The outside world doesn't interest me today or yesterday or tomorrow, school, work and alike will come soon enough to shatter my peace.

The weather has turned cold and the wind more confident, the average day is 10c and the wind chill if any would be lower.

This weekend was a holiday in Poland, All Saints Day, it is the time of year that family gathers together to go to the cemetery place flowers on graves and light candles and say prayers for the dead. - So the only person they speak to at the cemetery is the dead person who is unable to communicate back... Ironic.

Personally I prefer Mexico's traditional celebration about it all. It is a happy time that in their view as I understand, the dead are allowed back for one day and the families celebrate the reunion - No postcards tho - Bummer.

My personal view on holding on to the dead is that I don't. I let them free to move upwards and onwards, I will join them in my own time. Any severe sadness or grief of their loss would keep them from moving on, so I let me sadness go and wish them well on their journey to greater happiness and joy... because they also have family waiting for them over there anyway...

I don't need a day to think about a lost loved one, I do it if something comes to mind that reminds me of them. I don't need a place to go to do this like a cemetery because the human spirit is free of the constraints of the 4 dimensions we live in; it can be everywhere at once. We can only perceive this existence as an abstract based on our limited experience of only 4 dimensions.

WOW - Listen to me - rambling on!

It is quite strange here. Polish people are on the whole quite timid and shy. I would go as far as to say insular, until they know you. But in no amount of familiarity will it occur to them to invite you to a holiday celebration. No I don't mean All Saints Day, I mean in general, the Christmases and the Easters and Summer Holidays. The people you see twice a week for hours at a time, who you learn with and laugh with and become friends with will never make the mental leap after they have asked you about what you will do on such holidays to actually open their own doors to you - the solitary Australian in the midst of the sea of Poles... I am not griping here nor am I bitter -I am just penning a point that has been swilling around in my head for many months.

My car is in the shop, I was going to take it to the mechanic the day after I bought it, to have it checked out anyway, but I didn't have time. So I will get a fully inspection report and a few things fixed and a whiole heap of peace of mind...

Penny is off in Warsaw with her sister for the holidays, So I will see her when she returns. Its odd that I have only know her for a few weeks and seem to know her so well now... Tho we only started dating last week.

Obi Distracted...

When God closes a window...

When God closes a window... He opens a nice tall gorgeous slim and curveous Polish door. WOW! My head is still spinning... I will sleep well and dream where the new door will take me...

Obi still stunned and grinning...