Monday, February 28, 2011

Moving On

So here it is, the 1st of March tomorrow. February was a rough month with stress that I could not really sense directly. The consequences of stress are still the same with pressure building and things go past their factory and manufacture recommended limits, so too the human heart and brain.
This has been one of those months... and I have a few hours now to reflect on it and see what i had learned from the mistakes and miss taken roads.
I confirmed I have a long fuse that explodes disgracefully. Whenever I get mad I devastate whatever chances I have and destroy the situation utterly. I happens once every 10 years usually but its becoming more frequent and I should examine why.
I confirmed that I need love and not a clinging user in my life. I have a hard enough time managing the ups and downs of the rollercoaster and so I cant drag and pay for someone else that expects gucci and prada when I cannot even justify that for myself, sure I could afford it, but I haaate that pretentious crap.
.... Obi late for a class and contemplative

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

What kinda girlfriend forgets her beloved's birthday?

Greetings Folks!
It seems that my "a" is my beloved but the mirror is hers. The point of that statemnt really its the summary answer, let me explain.
I have a girlfriend, 28 and attractive and funny and charming and all the trimmings. I have only eyes for her and she has only eyes for herself. I have to admit in my long yet bad memory that I have never had such a self-important, self orientated girlfirned in my life, shades and tones of Sociopathy scent the air around the bullshit that flies.
She has had a chain of boyfriends before me that she, self admittedly leeched off, the previous being a millionaire that has companies and financial investments in several countries.

I on the other hand have a few things she wants:

  1. A gulliable and open heart - from which she is crafting strings so tight that I will be an emotional marionette in her eyes very soon.
  2. An unselfish desire to make her happy and help her get what she wants in life, which is mirrored by a selfish desire to get what she wants in life, all of it... ALL!
  3. A care and concern for her health and welfare, which is mirrored by a strong care and concern for her welfare, and mine if it keeps me from being sick and providing her with attention money or anything else.
  4. A nationality that she admires, or more to the point a culture and economy that she can thrive in, well she did with her millionaire boyfriend...
  5. A schooling system that can help her achive her goals, mirrored by a schooling system that can feed already long and utterly impractical education, for a country that cannot produce wine in great quantities or in 90% of its regions, she studied vitaculture for 6 years. Its like getting an education that specialises in Glacial Studies in Sharian Africa...
  6. An open heart that professes love and shares feelings, mirrored by "I love... your shoes." in response.
  7. An open and communicative nature that wants to understand all and figure out the best way for her 'us' to achieve our goals, mirrored by wide open and worried green eyes, calculating and making plans with a mouth locked shut, in a blank refusal to communicate.
So folks that is me currently - my next step is to find some time to start planning my next steps, 1. away from herand 2. to a new and better situation...
wish Obi Luck!
I - Obi...