Spiralling Down

Ever had one of those moments that shook every priority loose from its shelf and left every goal in question and shattered on the floor?
Well I had one a few days ago.
But this being the second time this has happened I took a road less travelled. I decided to get angry, justifiably so. But any time in my life when I have let anger win out - everything has self destructed. This situation is no different.
To summarise my week:

• Went Bowling and hurt my back again.


• Slipped over badly in the shower and gashed my leg open.


• Car battery died and that was the good part - let me see that my car leaks oil like a paper bag.


• Exploded my well capped temper and was unforgivably nasty to some one who will never speak to me again (still not sure it that is a bad thing)


• Missed my class with the EU inspector because of above mentioned car problem


• ... the list goes on...

Thinking about lost love and anger and futility and rage and tears and more tears and yelling and screaming because things were never going to be what I hoped they'd be no matter how much I sacrificed and loved...

What is left when love is gone?

Obi wants to know...

PISS OFF

A special message for someone

out there that

I invested far too much in

and wasted faaar too much time on.

FUCK

OFF!

(tell ya mum she has finally won!)

I hope one day you grow a spine and fight for what you believe in!

Die Hard Gary numan fans watch... M E T A L

Gotta love a good rework!

And then...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CyP0Vy8bAE

Yes - Obi is Tragic but only in the best Glam 80's kinda waaaay!

p.s. ... Maybe I am mad, maybe I am pretty pissed off... :D

Sunday again

Day light savings took affect as of 2am and now I am just that little more confused. Its okay, its my lifestyle. I'm rarely told information about anything so the difference here is semantic.

A big week, filled with rocketing hopes of happiness only to be skuttled by the strangulation of apron strings and black mail. I feel so sorry for this person. The world is out there and waiting with happiness freedom and joy beyond imagining, but fear will quell the noblest of hearts and the most angelic of love...

The Full moon Friday saw me out in full force! The power of the moon and the lunacy that it brings gave me rare energy and I had a big night that ended at 2am. I hit the best restaurant in town with a colleague to meet and chat about the course we share at a company. After a damn nice meal and a bottle of wine we went to the best bar in town where friends of mine were waiting and we laughed and carried on and had a ball.

October is at an end, astrologically and throughout my personal history, October has been a month of stark change. I see it already many new happy beginnings but I hope no sad endings. I am not angry, I am disappointed but - that happens...

Obi is sending some scissors to help cut some strings...

A horse is a horse - of course of course!!

This year again I will miss the Melbourne Cup. Quite the auspicious occasion among my close firends. The suits and ties and the champagne and sun creme and the winnnings!!

Usually I go and I win something - but then, being the diligent citizen, I would donate that money back to the champagne fund and supply my friends with further bubbly joy!

Alas this year I will be in a small town in northern Poland in minus temperatures and dreaming of the sunburn and the glory of thundering hooves past the post...

So to my friends I wish a glorious day and a winning ticket. enjoy the day and especially savour it for moi!

Obi - horsing around!

Party in Sweden's pants

There's a party in Sweden's pants, and you're invited!

The Pendulum

Well it is a Saturday night and I am home and listening to the rain hit my bedroom window again.

I am noticing friends around me change in unexpected ways. some are straightening out a crinkled life, some are so far up themselves they can't see right from wrong and still others are swinging that pendulum so far and hard away from themselves that I am really worried if I even know them at all, or more to the point if they know themselves. What forces someone to abandon a perfectly good line of logic in pursuit of something new that is so far from their centred being than anyone could be? What forces someone to expend so much energy in an inevitably pointless and frivolous pursuit of god only knows what? Perhaps perspective. we all like to leave our situations and look at our lives from a different angle - hell - look at me, I literally left my life and went to eastern Europe to live and do something I have never done. Am I really that far from myself? Am I really in pursuit of the frivolous in my own way.

Don't get me wrong, I respect all these people I am referring to it is just that you know that along the way you can't protect them from the bumps and bruises and the left turns to Albuquerque as mush as you would want to.

To be fair I have limited information and it isn't my right to tell anyone anything about their lives, we all have the right to self discovery... and destruction... It is just for some that I wish I could show them the actually journey to their destination is only 15km, not 15 years... So they could see the happiness in their lives is not so far away, so there can stat now and cultivate so much more than they will...

Obi a victim of his own hypocrisy... hip hip hooray!

Something that inspires me when it sweeps back into my mind at the right time.... Thanks SGT

心
1. Consider the probable reality that all time is simultaneous.

2. You are the universal consciousness.

3. The pendulum must swing both ways before it is brought to rest in the middle.

4. All limitations are self-imposed.

5. The mind has every potential and all knowledge.You are the universal consciousness, at ease as your consciousness drifts more deeply into a state of all that is.

心

High Time To Mobilize

NEWS FLASH! - Obi now has Sports striping and five speed! Yes that is right folks Obi is m-OBI-le! I decided after the last winter that walking any more than 10 minutes in the snow absolutely sucked so i decided that this winter I will not be a pedestrian, but rather mobile in some stylish form or fashion.

Stylish or fashionable just was not available so I bought something practical and economical, much to my ego's protest. I purchased pragmatically because I was extremely reluctant to buy a nice or expensive car (which I deserve) simply because at home, in my parents garage is a car that I bought brand new that has not yet seen 4000km! How stupid am I to buy a new car in Feb 2007 and leave for work in Russia in August 2007... I aint too sshmart ladies and gentlemen... But regardless - loss of market value is only relevant if you turn your cars over quickly and my experiece is that I keep cars for a looong time. so... I trust that my parents will enjoy driving my car about occassionally and enjoy the fuel economy that a car under a 3.0 litre 4X4 will bring...

Obi is driving on the WRONG side of the road now! UWAGA UWAGA!!!

F1 OBI!

Teachin' Em Riiiight!

I found this today and I thought that we really do shape our students...

and this was a perfect example!

Obi - keepin' it grammatically real!

Beginnings & Endings

It has been a long time since I blogged, usually the motto - I bloggeth therefore I am - is the norm for me, but I have been busy lately.

Bought a car today, I am rather pleased. one of my students, the rather canny Chris came with me and kicked the tyres and talked turkey with the salesman, So I am confident that I have a good deal and a car in good condition for the price I am paying, I collect it on Friday. I will be a goooooood weekend I can tell you!

I am settling down into my new hours and in fact there are casualties, some of the students have dropped out and decided it was all too hard, though some have quit and others just didn't want to sign the stupid contract with their HR manager bonding them to the company for at least 2 years because of the free English training the company was providing. So all in all I am not to blame.

I over prepared for the course and I have moooore than enough material to keep it running, I have some great students and more importantly, they are actually interested in learning! I have another 9 months on this contract and I am happy.

Farewell to an important person. I must add that people come and go in our lives but they are there for a reason... and sometimes only a season. I will be sad to say goodbye but friendship is a 2 way street and this person just doesn't get that.

I have to make plans for my driving trip to Germany next month, I have organised 4 daze off and I will be puttering around in my new wheels...

Obi-lisk of da fuuuuuchaaaa~!

Shiny Happy People

Feeling really good today - lack of sleep has helped but the first week of the new schedule is past and the second started. it seems my panic to have material for the classes has paied off and I have more than enough...

So cheers to being happy! Obi

In Shock!

Like the Christmas morning you never expected, I am in shock! I now have my banking and finance information RE-accessible through the Internet! The last 9 months was utter hell with complete loss over the control of my finances and bill and mortgage payments. But now it is back I feel in control, something I thought I would never feel again. The privacy laws of my country are to say the least resting between the sheer poetry of logic of Shakespeare and the tyrannical immutability of .... something that is Tyrannical and immutable- (sorry I can't think of a comparison)

over the next few days I will reclaim and re access what I have to do to automate and organise my financial concerns at home.

On the good news front I have a sweet deal on a car! I must contact the owner but in all circumstances it seems that it is a wonderful buy and also on LPG gas...

Last night I met with an old student old a break. he wants to get back into the groove of study as I am really just a grammatical sounding board for this business thoughts... Hey - fine with me, I enjoy our chats and learn a lot about business myself!

Obi is having a well earned day off...

Mash Ups

I quite like the idea that there is something better hiding inside something, so it is with Mash-Ups - combining 2 tracks and listening to the outcome. I have heard some great ones in my time and this is no exception.

The Police Vs. Snow Patrol - "Every Car You Chase"

Obi - What do you think?

Bad Timing

Sometimes you're in the right place at the wrong time, take a bus stop for example. Who makes bus timetables anyway? They are not convenient, they are not ever fair. I mean they are never going to get you to the place you want to go when you need to be there. ... and the bus you have been planing on always leaves just before you can catch it and you have to stand there at the bus stop like a Nigel and wait. and wait. and wait. Somethings are important enough to wait for, life changing in fact. I am just glad that I have the patience of a mountain and the stubbornness of a mule. It may make a difference in the future, but it might not, those who make the bus time tables rarely consider the consequences...

I will have to start taking the bus to and from work starting as of next week and I am not happy. I hate the idea of lugging my books around to and from a company and a severely restricted bus time table and have to be on the other side of town within 30 mins... We will see...

Tonight somehow the open window doesn't chill me, the cold wind still blows up the street but I feel it less, I am warmer inside than I was yesterday. Were is my bus stop? On the corners of Hope & Reality Streets.

Obi waiting patiently for the bus to be on time for once...