Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
A glorious weekend here, with sun and warm breezes in the day and fireworks by the river at night next to the carnival. The big ferris wheel is all lit and spins colourfully...
Lots more nice relaxing walks around town and I tend to like the thinking I do when I walk. A good friend of mine walks all the time but I can't walk with her.
I am currently looking for a new flat. I have a few in mind and within 4km from work, so walking distance. and far cheaper. but the whole drama of moving will be done alone and I have a little bit of furniture that will need some help moving.
I will start jogging next week, I have to get a nice new pair of sneakers tho so I will have a look around. I am looking to shed about 10kg to start - then we will see what healthy living and a positive attitude can do for the rest.
Waiting for my holiday!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Rockin' It Right
Friday, April 17, 2009
The drivers license thing seems to have take an turn for the better with the intoroduction of a colleagues brother - ( A Driving Instructor ). SO a much cheaper, easier and quicker. it is amazing how much weight is off my shoulders from that one issue...
Cutting off loose end is a cathartic experience and I am glad I have the chance. It rare to be able to see into a situation that was so coloured by emotions and misconceptions with a clear unadulterated view. I have that chance and I am doing what I need for myself to move on - enigmatic sure but that is all I need it to be for now.
I really am looking forward to my holidays - I need the break and a perspective boost that being with my oldies will bring. Simply becasue they love me and I love them, but also it will remind me of aspects of myself I have disconnected from.
Almost as good as going home, but if you can't - bring it to you!!
There is always a way - Obi
Thursday, April 16, 2009
- Find a new flat, something much cheaper than I have now, which won't be hard. It will just be further to go to school each day.
- I must get my German drivers license. Which, the way the technical side of it goes, should also qualify me for the NASA shuttle piloting program. It will cost me 1500 euros to get everything I need for this.
- I have to look around for a new job. I had an interview yesterday for a great company in Kiev but to be honest the utter lack of support sorta moving and visas etc outweighs the whole new horizon new adventure kick.
- I had a lot of time to think over Easter and I am a few steps closer to being clear of this fog I have been in for almost a year. I am getting flashes and glimpses of what I want and perspectives I should have in my current situation, so that is progress. Perhaps until now I have had S.A.D. But the warm breezes and the bright sunshine have helped me along. Speaking of Sunshine I saw a photo taht reminded me about sunshines past. in fact it reminded me of the most glorious sunshine I was ever bathed in. Ah, that is facebook for you...
- Language - seems my german is slipping, no surprising since my classes were cancelled a few months ago, but I seem to get by better and better as the days go on. Ironically I am finding the language Swedish a surprising hidden passion. I have a dear friend who inspired me to learn in the first place many years ago but I lost it because life got in the way. Now all these years later I have the connection back and the passion to learn it, to be honest I would rather speak Swedish than German... and of course my search fro Annika continues...
- Spring has sprung and now I am looking at myself - I need to lose at least 20lbs and my diet should improve, but it takes a rare discipline to be bothered to cook gourmet meals for one. probably the reason I like to cook for others so often. Although I rarely get the chance...
- Not much news from oz these days, people just aren't interested in keeping up. I can't say I blame them. It has been 3 years I have been away and it seems like I have had at least 2 life times in that period. It would be a difficult bridge to traverse. But looking to the future and not looking back is part of my newly forming manifesto.
- Relationships and friends. Well I must say that is the disappointing thing about Germany, people are nice to your face but do not extend that hand of friendship. Sure I am a teacher and get along very well with all my students, most of my students are from 25 - 50 so you would assume a deep pool of possible friendships to dive into. Yes, you would assume that. But that is just not the way Germans are wired. Hence my trouble finding a German woman to date or explore a realtionship with. I have dated Americans, I have dated Russians and even Poles here in Germany, but the elusive key to the German womans psyche is just out of reach for me. I have a current odd but comfortable realtionship with a Russian woman I met, she is sweet and attentive and full of trouble, much like a woman I knew 10 years ago who we will call here - Joanna. For those that know me, know that situation was toxic. So I am looking and so is she but at the moment we are casual and conmfortable. Worried about a Dublin friend, but less so because I realised that ican do nothing to improve the situation, it is all in her hands. If anything from what I have seen and understood from my friends actions of late via discussion and observation etc. I have lost respect for this persons seeming lack of character and fortitude and life saavy which I had attributed to their wonderful nature. Perhaps It is a case of little fish out of the little pond and into the ferocious ocean, but still the point of make or break for each person is not in my hands. It is for them to discover for themselves. and for me to worry about a whole lot less...
All in all at the moment I have very little work, and getting paid my full wage - so I am winning here but I would rather earn what I get, classes just seem to be dropping off and people are blaming the financial crisis but I think it is more than just that.
Tho oddly, the boss has seen fit to hire another full time teacher when we, in my opinion have one too many. He has a plan but he tells no one anything at all so all I can do is laugh and go along for the ride.
OBI on the move...
Saturday, April 11, 2009
The rental agent wants to show someone thru this place already. sure i have a sweet location but they are almost pushing me out the door.
A setback was when the assistant to the landlady called me and informed me that I m unable to give notice until the end of a 12 month period and only then can I submit a 90 days. That sounds odd to everyone I have spoken to. A year contract is a year... 15 months is something different.
The drivers license I must get is from scratch - that means about 8 - 10 lessons and at least 500 euros, that is only for the practical test, the theoretical is also needed. I am just lucky I dont have to do it in German... a small blessing.
Now I have been driving for 20 years and they want me to do it all from scratch, and get new glasses and do a first aid course and get all documents like my current drivers license translated and also addition letter from the RTA to exactly specify when I got my license, the precise date... that translated too - it is 30 euro a shot for a translation.
Is my job really worth all this crap?? ...and on top of that my boss has given me until the end of May to have all this done, all at the same time my family is visiting me. Is life ever easy?
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Temple Of Love
Rubiconic - is the word of the day...
I was at the end of the pier today and as I blinked away the tears and the pier got longer. So the question was not. "Was I at the end of the pier, but "Did I want to walk further?..."
Life showed me the exit from Germany today and then Germany triple back sommersalted and confused the shit out of me and wordlessly asked me to stay...
What the hell am I supposed to do now with a decision I made to leave and committed to eventually feel comfortable about now that opportunities have changed.
Even being loved here is now a quizzical gouge...
Obi - Feeling so so fragile..