Far End Of The Night

A Thursday night and the traffics sings its lullaby outside my window, quietly today and as the streetlights paint the recent rain in the streets a musty yellow I look out of my window and wonder about the question.
I'm comfortable and familiar at the moment and I never feel at ease in this state, usually because it is the quiet before the fall. This hazy relaxed malaise is always a time bomb for some drastic event.
Penny Century is trying to play mind games with me, whether she is subconsciously or consciously angry with me or because she knows the end is tapping at the door, I can't tell. Suffice it to say I had seen it years before and I had had enough then. It is really disappointing when adults over 30 can't breathe deep and suck it in and accept the inevitable with grace and dignity. In fact I am deeply disappointed specifically at Penny for her current behaviour. I am certainly not going to play that game. She can go and rot.
The job in Germany that was so keen to hire me has not come through and I am a little disappointed (again) on paper, it was the perfect job for me and I was keen to get back to a country that takes pride in timing and organisation... and has a language I half understand.
When I get this comfortable life has taught me from bitter experience to pack up and pull a pillow over my head and wait for the bombs to start. So in anxious practice I have washed all my clothes and folded them into my suitcase and started to shed my extra papers and stuff that I never needed. My house is clean and the rubbish is out, including the extra stuff my housemate dumped with me and never paid me back, so surreptitiously I took owner ship of all his belongings and threw them out. I figure 6 months of begging someone for the cash you loaned him (enough for a months rent) and getting no answer was enough time before you can throw out all his stuff he was too lazy and disorganised to send home. His mother died recently I heard and I am sad, I met her and found her practical and down to earth, vastly opposite to her son. I also heard he is on his way back through this town at Easter. Personally I think it is for the start of his world sympathy tour, he was always one to play on others good nature and manipulate a drink out of anyone.
Call me hard hearted, call me cynical – maybe I am, but I lived with this asshole for 6 plus months and as regular readers will know I did 150% of all that was possible to make his life easy... and the thanks I got was being shafted of the money he owed me.
Where am I tonight?? Alone in my living room on beer number 5 and barely amused at the world outside, that comfortable haze.
Obi – shitty and grumpy but still a veteran of realism...