Why is it...

Why is it in life that we chase that one elusive element to the jig saw puzzle called happiness. For all of us this picture of happiness is of different composition, colour and style and I get that. But why is it that the one and only piece we need to turn a broken life of 'could be' and 'should be' into a juggernaut of joy for us and all around us so difficult to find? That one piece could make us so much more than we are, that key segment that can make us 1000% more capable of anything and everything.

Yesterday I was emailed by a dear friends and told that a mutual friend had killed himself. No facts are certain but his girlfriend had dumped him and perhaps his house of cards collapsed leaving him with nothing left.
The amount of energy and time we expend looking for and trying to keep hold of that one piece of happiness that we underpin all the rest of our hopes and dreams on is staggering... and for this friend it was all too much to put back together. Sometimes I wonder when I will run out of energy to do it, to look for to nuture and care for it, when that centrepiece stops being.

Love comes by seldom and when it comes to visit we are reminded that it can really make a dull and pointless existence so full to bursting with the level of happiness we usually dare not dream. Big dreams like that are wonderful but usually hurt. Conceiving our hearts desire on such a grand scale is always possible but exhausting, and all it leaves us with is a full realisation of what we don't have.

Maybe I am corny or old fashion but I believe in the mathematics of love. quite simply 1+1=1.

I think the worst thing we all know from our own experience is that we have all known that dizzy love, that completeness. For a moment or a year, no matter how long we bask in its glow it changes our soul forever. and ever after we seek out that euphoric place we spent with another for the briefest moment.

I think the worst of it all, the absolute worst is when you know where that piece is or even who that piece is... and can do nothing to bring those 2 pieces together. All you can do is just watch and wait from a doorway or a window and try to figure out why we all make this thing happiness so difficult to keep and share...

Obi - ...all the kings horses...