Saturday - bright and sunny

I never realised that happiness was something you had to work hard at. I never knew that it wasn't just a black and white thing - you are or you aren't, but now I am starting to realise this and looking to thinks that support and sustain this happiness...

So now I have to research this thing and study the beast.

I may have a new car by the end of next week. Another teacher I know has upgraded from a shitbox to a beater. So I asked if he wanted to sell it to me. I think for $500 au will be worth it, anything that keeps me from walking 3 km in the snow to and from school will be good. AND I will be able to zip off to the city anytime and just enjoy the drive to and from.

I had a brief discussion with my boss about work and I realised a few things more than the brief obscure answers he gave me, like a little shakabooku so to speak. I realised that this is my course and my job and my career, I had, until that time, lost ownership of my own direction. I lost it to disappointment and adversity. Now, I have got a reasonable grip on my direction and what I want professionally I will be able to make strident steps forward.

• Personally this does not equate sadly, I know what I want but in this case ownership is not an option, so I have to have faith and believe in my ideals and my beliefs about matters of the heart. Or cut my heart out and become a selfish mercenary vicious bastard - it actually sounds appealing... but I will give the other option a good try first.
• Interpersonally I have endeavoured to make more of an effort with people that I meet, I have been rather passive in my approach, feeling the outsider and observing and absorbing language and culture etc. Now I think its time to turn the tables! My culture has a lot to offer and so do I, I must give ignorance the option and if what I offer is not recieved or disregarded then I will get out the Uzi... but until then I think I will give people a chance, the same chance I deserve but don't get...

Obi - talking happiness with the easter bunny !