Sunny daze and reminders

A glorious sunny day has touched my little city, the first sustained sun I have seen in 5 months. I have to admit I have discovered that I am not a person that can manage winter or snow for any length of time. I am a product of my origins: Australian, with that the expectation of warm weather and the ability to endure temperatures over 40c for a long period and to shrink and die in -30c.

Soon I have to put some serious thoughts into the clarity of action.

1. I have to hand in my severence of my flat lease. The minimum contract of one year will be up on the first of July, so I need to act quickly and get out. I thought it was a reasonable price to rent at when I didnt know, but if I cross over to the other side of town I can halve it. But do I want to move and have a contract again. So I need to find a month to month place...
2. Find a new place to be. I have been in Europe seeking the abstract that will not be uncovered, sure that is an abstract phrase to use here, but I don't have to explain everything to you, if you read regularly you would know what I mean. A kind friend has offered me a job in a eastern country, one with great promise and potential... but don't they all? This country has snow for at least 5 months a year - does that sound attractive?? - no.
   I am feeling quite emotionally distracted at the moment, most of it worrying about a fragile little heart trying to find her way in the dark. You can't really help someone if they don't want it, but what do you do when they can' help themsleves and don't want your help? When you ask questions and get no answers it is natural that frustration builds, perhaps it is that I believe I can see a clear path back to some normality for her and she refuses to budge from the position and self destructive self loathing. Any suggestions folks, because I am at a loss.
3. A kind friend who is leaving our little corner of the universe is quite wise for his age. He keeps telling me my biggest fault is that I am too generous and too kind and that I get walked all over whenever I help someone. Hence my phrase - "No good deed goes unpunished". I really don't know what to do about that - I shouldn't have to rip the best parts of me away and be as selfish and self serving as many of the people around me. Should I?
4. I am finding painfully that the new teacher is quite the vampire, a leech of sorts. I am just exhausted by her company and constant harping and complaining on some very specific topics. As a person I would have to say she plays the victim card throughout every aspect of her life. Sure she has had some rough times, haven't we all, we define ourselves by how we overcome adversity, but she is like a broken record! The worst part is that she has clamped on to me like a child lost at a carnival. She is so draining.
   

I have to get active - and no amount of coffee can help me. I need some other trigger...

Obi - itchy trigger finger....

Dil Laa liya be-parwa de naal Dil Laa liya be-parwa de naal